Diary Entry# 31/08/12 -Falling for this Frenchman

Bonjour … Errr hello that is what he said
A beautifully crafted man I laid eyes on when I turned my head.
He leaned in close “I’m from Paris so my English is not so good”
But I’m standing there like I don’t even care, you had me at Bonjour
We spoke, him in and out of French with the English he knew
And me practising my rusty Français beaming like a damn fool.
Big arms wrapped around me hands on my hips, thighs and waist.
Forgetting where I was of my neck he got a taste.
Falling in love in the club with this Frenchmen
As he danced into my ears with that hypnotic accent
He told me he was from the Caribbean and a soldier the next day.
Well I don’t think I caught much else, picturing him in uniform had my mind running away.
Did I mention he’s beautiful? I’d do some bad things to him.                                                               When he said I was beautiful and sexy I think my knees gave in.

Not ever before has a guy had me lifted so quick
Accepting invitations to Paris to get some more of his … French kiss

But wait oh shit I’m supposed to be seeing Mr..errm..yh him
But I I just can’t help it, because its smiles all round when I’m with that French gentlemen.
In French or English he has me laughing and giddy
I can’t get enough of his smile his eyes his kindness and oh baby! The way he kisses me.

Tombé en amour dans le club avec un homme Français

Loool What can I say I am a sucker for a hot French dude!

Diary Entry# 30/01/12 – The elephant in the room (Update on love)

So to recap the last time I posted I had fallen back in to bed with Mr X.
I mentioned that I discussed with him that it should not happen again. Well after that things were a little distant but then we started talking again. I saw him on his birthday and I did give him a small gift (from a shop not in my panties to clarify lol) anyway he dropped me home and came in to say hello to my family; my mum seeing us walk into the house together exclaimed “oh, so is there an announcement you two are going to make? Everything on again?!” To which I retorted a swift NO! Anyway when I showed him to the door he held me close and kissed me and it weren’t no friend kiss. As I was going back to uni in a couple of days he wanted to see me the day before I left.

I was talking to my friend and she was like you two need to have some kind of discussion about what happened and what you are now doing. I knew this but I just didn’t know what to say or how I really felt. But I knew we were both avoiding the big fat elephant in the room. I went to his flat determined to initiate the conversation. But in the end I didn’t we just sat there watched a movie and cuddled up. Me him and the elephant! And when I went to open my mouth talk I kissed him. We kept on kissing but when things got a little heated I had to put on the breaks.

Yep I chickened out my head was saying be smart but my heart was saying this is nice this is what I’ve been missing

I had to go back to uni and I thought well we could still converse on the phone. But to be honest once I reached here it was straight to my books and the library. As couple of days past and I was just too busy to be having any kind of emotional convo. After a few days he contacted me to see how I was getting on with my studies. After that we would text on a daily basis and then a phone call in the evening. It was just like normal well normal pre-all the drama and because I was busy it was mostly him contacting, I did call too but often nervous to. He was just so super supportive during my exams, he would text/call make sure I was doing ok, wish me good luck before all my exams and a couple of times he phoned to make sure I was awake before my exams as he knew I hadn’t had much sleep.

By the time my exams were over we were doing good. We even spoke about him coming here, I was “baby girl” again and he had a smile on my face whenever we talked. But in the back of my head I was really conflicted. 1. Part of me was happy to speak with him and didn’t actually want anything more 2nd part of me was still angry with him about what went down and that he was acting like he didn’t break my heart and the 3rd side was remembering just how much I loved him. I had managed to suppress the latter two whilst studying but after exams were done my brain was still in overdrive and got to thinking.

What are we am I doing?
I can’t keep ignoring this elephant

Kisses

Dollm