Diary Entry#10/12/11- Me and my Best Friend

I’ve mentioned my girl bestfriends a lot on here, they really mean a lot to me.
But I have select few guy friends and 1 male bestfriend too. We’ve know each other since age 11 as we went to the same school. At one point I actually had a crush on him, but anyway around age 13 he was moved to my class and we became friends and I saw him as such ever since. We were close, about age 14-15 he told me that he liked me and I told him I didn’t feel the same. Are friendship has been turbulent ever since. He would get very jealous if I mentioned other guys, so I didn’t. But because we were so close people would assume we were together; I didn’t really care because I knew we weren’t, but he would get annoyed and frustrated by it an take it out on me. We used to fall out all the time, we’d stop speaking for months but we always end up finding our way back to each other. Some of our issues weren’t all him, I used to be somewhat *ahem* flirtatious when I was younger, to be honest I treated my male friends the same as my girls. Wrong! Resting your head on your girls shoulder means: you’re tired. Apparently resting your head on a guys shoulder means: I want to have sex with you. Anyway he said I could be a bit of a tease and he weren’t the only one I was sending wrong signals too so I learnt to dial it down.

As we got older and matured our friendship grew stronger he appeared to have had moved on. Only problem is he only interacted with other females for sex he became a bit of a dog with a disrespectful attitude towards women. Sometimes he would forget who he was talking too and I had to remind him I wasn’t one of his chicks. So the arguments and not speaking started again.

We finally smoothed things out just before I met Mr X. In the first couple of years of my relationship we were kind of distant with each other as he also got into a long term relationship, but also because life happened and I had moved away to uni etc etc. Over the last year we’ve been in regular contact again. I don’t let him wind me up so easily now so we tend not to argue as much.

But now he’s telling me how sexy I am. And how Mr X was no good for me. He says I’m the only woman in his life that he trust, cares for and respects. And he wants us to have a ”serious talk” next time I’m in London about our relationship. I thought about just  sneaking into London quietly and pretend last nights conversation never happened due to the sensitive backdrop of our friendship. But I then realised that I should just be honest with him;

To be honest, I’ve just got out of something really messy things are all over the place for me

I thought he would get it but he was just said that when we talk things will be clearer.

Maybe I wasn’t clear enough.
But I’m trying to be sensitive.

Reasons I don’t want to get with my bestie

  • I just broke up with Mr X
  • Thus in such I’m still in love with Mr X
  • I am pretty vulnerable right now, wouldn’t want him to be the rebound guy
  • Even though he says I’m different he still has chauvinistic attitudes
  • We have a turbulent friendship, I know we’d be horrible together.
  • I do love my best friend but I don’t have romantic feelings for him.

Your probably thinking why are you even friends with this guy. But we’ve known each other for so long,  I remember he would come and get me from work every Sunday and take me home and he has always been there to make me laugh but honestly the main reason I don’t want to get with my bestie is because I couldn’t bare loosing anyone else right now.




2 thoughts on “Diary Entry#10/12/11- Me and my Best Friend

  1. Lawd!!!!! and the plot thickens…it’s always like that with love…we want the one who tends not to want us back, yet its always someone else waiting to fill that void. Oh but be leary because a lot of risk here…loosing a friend is much harder than a boyfriend? I think! LOL!! I says don’t do it especially if you don’t feel the same way…

    • lol I was just gobsmacked through the whole thing wanted to ask life: seriously? I all seriousness I know I don’t feel the same way but I’m also pretty scared of telling him that its just a really awkward situation… I’ll have to keep you posted on that one x

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